PDHPE Perspective

Given the recent focus on Married at First Sight (I talk about this with some of my students in passing at the moment), this edition will cover how it can be useful to open up conversation about relationships.

Married. At. First. Sight. What a show! I know that not everyone tunes in to this show, however, I think that it is a great example for opening up discussion with your son or daughter about relationships and what a respectful relationship looks like. We cover this topic in Term 3 for Year 10.

A recent newspaper article by Nelly Thomas in the Sydney Morning Herald piqued my interest. It covers outcomes straight out of the PDHPE syllabus. One being the topic of relationship abuse. Abuse can be physical and emotional. It seems that the MAFS contestants are not well versed around the concept of emotional abuse. The examples of overt emotional abuse come from Ines who verbally abuses Bronson on the boat – if you haven’t seen it, don’t bother looking for it. And the covert Susie emotionally abusing Billy. She uses phrases like, “use your big boy words” and “be more of a man”, which are rigid gender roles and are clearly hurtful and patronising. This type of behaviour will impact a person’s confidence and make them question their identity of what it is to be a man – “Am I being too feminine?” This leads to the next point: rigid gender roles.

It is unfortunate that we see this behaviour being played out on the screen. However, since it is there, we must talk about it. Both toxic masculinity and toxic femininity is acted out. Sam and Mike, for example, treat their partners like objects. Mike, in particular, gains macho points by revealing his intimacy to the wider population. This type of behaviour can undermine a women’s confidence and raises questions about trust.

Now, toxic femininity. Ines likes to describe herself “like a man” when she is aggressive and controlling – obviously, this is what Ines thinks men are. However, this depiction of men does not leave men with the capacity to be nurturing, caring, thoughtful and reasonable. Another example is Cyrell. Cyrell expected Nick to pour her glass and check in on her throughout the evening to see if she was “okay”. This rigid gender stereotype falls back on men as being the “protector” of women. As we know, women are capable of taking care of themselves. This behaviour, in part, diminishes a woman’s capacity to be self-sufficient and impacts their self-esteem and confidence in the future.

However, it is not all bad. Cam and Jules are an example of what a respectful couple should look like. They share household responsibility, use respectful communication, talk through their concerns and celebrate their victories.

The take home message: if your family watched MAFS recently, be sure to open the conversation about the behaviours that are both toxic and positive in a relationship.

Warm regards,

Michael Kaissis

PDHPE Department